Gone.

Just got back from kampung. Alhamdulillah, tok's burial and tahlil went smoothly with almost all family members around.it was a first time experience losing a family member, kissing her dead body all wrapped up, witnessing the way they placed her into the coffin and marched to the cemetery right behind the wooden house, observing cluelessly why my dad and his siblings were standing at each corner inside the deep hole, and reciting Yasin and prayers over and over again before watering the fragranced soil covering the deep black hole.it all took me to one conclusion, that this is how lives are gonna end-buried into the deep ground, wrapped in white cloth, being left alone at one point to meet Him, the creator.

My late grandmother had been sick for quite some times, where she was half paralyzed and not able to talk nor move the way a normal person would for a period of 4 years.there wasn't much memory about her for the past four years, since visiting kampung takes place only when the long holiday arrives, and when we, siblings were there, we didn't really play our part to take care of her, we didnt even try to help.all we did was kiss her static hands when we first arrived and the moment we were about to head back home.our bad, we weren't helpful enough.but one vivid memory which never failed to cross my mind whenever i mesmerized about her was the time she chorused the Bujang Lapuk song everytime she saw me, my sister, and another cousin walking around like trios everywhere in the house.and that some 8 years back perhaps.at that time, she was lying on her bed, the upper side of her head facing the television and she watched the tv using a face mirror-she watched everything from the reflection of the mirror- from news to concerts.

The whole family, i observed could willingly accpet her lost and we are now walking our days still with her kept deep inside our hearts.

Im heading back to school right after dinner, and yeah there's a lot to catch up with.wish me luck :)

Al Fatihah.

Captain!

my long lost friend,

Zaidatul Aleeza Zaki :)

happy sixteen dear!

you're still remembered :)

XO

p/s: titin, auntie ann. maryam, and uncle rahmat.

thanks for visiting me the other day :)

and those muffins are marvelous! :D

Gulp.

Hello.

Two weeks of school gathered up too many stories, some should be told, some should just be burried down in the earth deepest layer.bad and good news, equally shared the limited space.I've been sleeping at almost 3 every day of the week, planning and spending time working on the freshies' event.it was my second big experience after majaka, and so the management was a lot more systematic and emotion was well controlled.it was upseting that the batch members boasted and showed their same, disappointing attitude throghout the process, but whatever, im used to it.the talent night itself has its strength and weeknesses, and im don't want to touch and talk on those :) sorry.

Let me just tell what happened to me this whole two darn hectic week.i was banged by the hem after doing my prefect campaign.i had to go through the next day, heart beating fast all day long, avoiding people cuz i was too afraid of their words.i didnt have time to flip through books and study and only complete homeworks at the very last minute but this is normal.i had a college sister and she had a difficult background and i felt so grateful of my life.i sprained an ankle for the second time while conducting talent night's rehersal.i almost lost my voice shouting and laughing and instructing people to do these and that.my mineral water stock finished so fast this week, i was thirsty and lack of water haha.i finally felt the anger when juniors 'contributed' silly demerits to the house and i've learned to be mean, well a little bit ;).i ve skipped quite a number of cheer practice because of the boring pmc duties and they made new cheer steps without me, not fair!i had not had any long sleep this week and im too used to it that i get super hyper when midnight falls.i missed my gjh and if only she was there when the fierce tornado hit me, hmph.the worst news is, there's a lot more coming up.

Tonight, we'll know who's the new prefects and the event where they appoint the prefects(cant remember the word, haha) is tomorrow morning.and my addmaths and bahasa and account are still there untouched.tak tidur lagi lah malam ni, pfft.allright, wish me the best of luck.

p/s: yes, i miss you, and my birthday's around the corner allready :)

Whatever.

look at me,
im tired and i miss home,
and i miss her and him and them,
sob.

Journey.

 

bye bye girlfriends :')

So, today it is.i've motivated myself enough, haha, like it's even that important, to take a new step to that beautiful school of mine, wearing no other but the yellow outing shirt.this holiday had been wonderful, enough for stress-releasing and mind therapy, enough of playing around, laughing and a little bit of crying, enough of afternoon wake ups, effective brunch, mat dancing, twentyfourseven online status and mom throwing tantrums over the hiking of the phone bill, evening treadmill workouts, television and of course my gaga sisters.but, not enough of shopping tho.the excitement of going outing with tons of friends before the holiday commenced faded throughout this relaxing period.it was quite upsetting not getting the chance to meet up with(okay, i  wanna list 'em down) Eza, Zura, Alya, Nieda, Lilia and Srh probably, but we all might have our own vivid reason why.and Azim, haha, duadua semangat :D ala, i can meet u anytime.

Today, i am officially a forth former, a senior.i haven't spend much time changing myself into someone better or fresher this holiday, since i dont think its necessary.and perhaps because there's no such stimulant or urge, blame the canceled camp :( so, things are just gonna go on normally and hopefully smooth starting today, like it always has been :) fitting in with new dorm mates, and classmates, and maybe the excruciating hectic environment.somehow, i've come to my senses that yeah, there's still a long life upfront, a bright route waiting to be explored.ama, it's gonna be awesome :)

So, everyone not in school, do take care out here and live happily still with me in your hearts and minds :) i'll update when the time allows me to, best of luck sailing through this new year :) till then.back to school baby.

p/s: Aussie pictures can be viewed on my Myspace proflie.lazy to upload 'em here ;)

p/s/s: encik wan ahmad azim, dont give up on diana danielle okay ;) i'll win our wedding fight.wee!

Daddy <3

DADDY! :D

i know you're not welcoming this big number,

but HAPPY FIFTY anyways!

you have been an absolute perfect dad,

from your hideous jokes and funny faces,

to those stern warnings, warm advices and contorted face,

you know you have always been the best dad ever.

50 isn't a huge number,

instead its a number where u know u can start resting,

and watching golf on tv all day long,

and mow the lawn and plant more flowers in our garden.

haha.thanks for everything, dy :)

may Allah give you pleasure and elation for the rest of ur life

i love you :)

first daughter,

kaklyn :)

Back.

I'm back, and while i was happily sucking the fresh air of Australia, some shocking news and disturbing matters came banging on my not-anymore-square box of mind.alas, the holiday was a so-so, definitely because the family was lack of one guy.no brother to push the darn heavy trolley, no brother to giggle and snap hundreds of pictures with, no brother dragging us up those fascinating rides, just no adventure man around.

And Adventure World, wasn't as fun when my phone beeped and the message stated about a friend's sudden death.although it's too late already, im just again praying that Allah bless her soul and may she live with those He loves.the news stoned me til the next dawn.it's a great lost but as all of us believe, He loves her more than all our small hearts do.remaining vulnerable surely isn't what she'll want for us, doing within our limited strength to stay strong would be the right move.Eldaterra will surely miss her but our never ending prayers will always stay with her, InsyaAllah.

School's opening in another day, and obviously im not ready.school stuffs are everywhere, im not even sure what i need to buy tomorrow.it doesnt even feel like a new year, didnt even stay late till 12 yesterday.although at 9, Sydney had lighted up their colourful firecrackers near the Opera House.flight was at 6 in the morning, so had to sleep early and woke up at 3, the freezing 3 o'clock.maybe i'll pack up little by little starting tonight.catching up with myself, haha that sounds funny.really hope school'll be allright despite the already head-cracking doubts about being a forth former.ah, too imaginative mind.it's actually corrupted.i'll be fine, im sure :)

I'll update more on Aussie later.

Loves,

Aussomeness.

im off to Perth tonight,

flight at eleven, yay :)

not sure if i'll be updating later on,

will surely have a fantabulous time there :D

take care here, peops.

till then,

au revoir ;)

Forever.

 she's nur haslina ahmad hanif, also my big sys :)

it had been a short period of wonderful memories with you.started with the ridiculous blue elephant key chain which is hopefully still dangling on your bag pack, continued by the double tenth place on cyberrun, and those so ama-like pyjamas on your birthday, perhaps we are fated to know each other deeper inside :) and like i always said, it was intensely hard to approach you with the heartless soul you own but as u know it, i managed to :) and you should be grateful for that.bahaha

you have always been my motivator, those magical words you utter never failed making me feeling better.and you too have always been a silent competitor.challenged every time you do something good or scoring some great achievements, ill race to it hoping that i could be as terribly good as you are in hm, everything perhaps.you were my listener, hearing those annoying whines and stupid jokes and kiddish weeps.you were the one who show ways and easy solutions to the problems of the complicated, typical mind of mine by simply making me smile and laugh with those funny stories of yours.you were a companion, the one i would want to first tell if good news hit me in the face, the one i would love to talk to just to lighten my exhausted, panting self, the one i would be happy to share my everyday routine at school and listening to yours.easy said, you were always faithfully there for me.always reassuring that im gonna be fine and always promising that you will be there everytime the need for you comes, and not forgetting the trusted phrase of 'ill always have your back' and the endless support you gave all the way.

now u know why i should be asking the question 'can i survive next year without you?' over and over again.no more late night tangga moments, no more so-called jogging dates, no more bukak puasa, no more lengthy notes, no more gajah :( i miss all those and as time passes by, i'll definitely miss you more and more.thanks for being so unexpected, cuz you really do care a lot about me and i deeply trust you with that.believe me you'll do extremely well in the future and i want to hear from my contented, successful gajah as often as possible okay? i'll never forget the inspiring, warm, loving, witty, helpful, hardworking, generous, courageous, and brilliantly heartless LINA partner of mine like i've promised.take good care of yourself and dont get anymore stomachaches and dont go adorably sasau when you're unstable okay? haha.you'll always be my big gjh, bear that in mind, forever :)

p/s; i love you, sys :)

Bestie!

nur ashiqin mohd azlan shah :)

HAPPY FIFTEEN!

thnks for being the bestest friend on earth,

may Allah bless you all the waay,

and may you grow bigger and taller :D

haha, i love you so much :)

p/s: i miss playing squash with you!

big  hearts<3 kempetaii :)